If Only
by Jacky Rowall
Summary: This is a slightly tragic story about Harry and Sirius and what it would have been like if things had been different. Hope you like it. Oneshot.


If Only

Disclamer: I most definitely do not own Harry Potter or anything relating to Harry Potter. I do however own the character of Jumper the crup. I don't own crups in general though. Those also belong to Mrs. Rowling.

It was late in the day, well past dinner time, and the sun was beginning to sink. By no means would it fade away casting gentle rays of pale light. No. It would muster up all the light from the depths of its core, causing a fierce, red glow to spread across the land before disappearing beyond the horizon. That's how Harry pictured it at least.

Harry had been outside for the past two hours de-gnoming the garden and finishing up a bit of homework. At the moment, he was lying flat on his stomach attempting to remember what the main ingredients in a shrinking solution were. He was drifting off when he heard the front door close. _Sirius must be home,_ he thought. He glanced around at his papers strewn all over the ground, which was now bathing in that bright red light of the setting sun. He gathered up all of his books and papers and walked back to the house.

As he opened the kitchen door, Jumper, Sirius and Harry's pet crup (a dog in the wizarding world that resembles a Jack Russell terrier), came running up to Harry barking excitedly. "What is it boy?" asked Harry playfully while scratching him behind the ears. The answer to his question came around the corner not a second later. It was none other than Sirius Black himself, looking better than ever. He had finally gotten rid of that gaunt look that Azkaban had given him.

"So, what kind of chores have you done today?" asked Sirius quite seriously. "I expect that you've washed all the dishes, folded the laundry, and painted the fence?" He managed to keep a straight face for a moment before a wide grin appeared, making his face appear even more handsome. He broke out into laughter as Harry playfully punched him in the shoulder saying,

"That's why I'm a wizard, so I don't have to do ridiculous things like chores!"

Sirius chuckled and said, "All right, all right. I guess I won't have to discipline you then." He opened his mouth wide and let out a loud yawn (very much resembling a lion). "I think I'm going to turn in. You can stay up for a while if you like. Just don't disturb the peace or anything. I don't want to be getting complaints from the neighbors." He turned to go upstairs when Harry spoke.

"Wait, before I forget, would it be all right if I had Ron and Hermione over before the end of the holidays?" came Harry's voice. "They would only have to stay for a day or two. But I'll understand if you don't — "

"Of course they can come over!" interrupted Sirius, turning around. "You didn't even need to ask me. Tell them that they can stay until the holidays are over if you like. The more the merrier!"

"Really?" asked Harry. "If I had mentioned that idea to the Dursley's, they would have locked me up for the rest of my life."

"Well, that's the benefit of living with a friend rather than a foe."

Ron and Hermione arrived the next afternoon looking anxious and excited. Harry opened the front door to greet them. He couldn't help but notice the way that his two friends acted around one other. They would constantly argue when they were together, yet they missed each other when they were apart. Harry also noticed that Ron always got this little smile when he was looking at Hermione (that is, when they aren't arguing). He was lost in thought when Hermione brought him back to his senses."Well, are you going to invite us in or not?"

"Huh?" replied Harry rather stupidly.

"We've been standing here for a minute or so and, well, you've been standing there staring at us, so I just thought I'd ask."

"Oh, right. Come on in," he said. He stepped aside to let them through the doorway. "So how's your summer been?"

"You won't believe this," said Ron. "Dad got this huge bonus at work for solving some problem with swelling sink facets or something..." Harry listened to them both talk animatedly about their vacations. They chatted in the backyard for a while before they were called in for dinner by Sirius.

They ate a delicious feast consisting of just about every food there is. They laughed and joked happily while they ate. After they were full to the bursting point, Sirius transformed into Padfoot and joined Jumper on the floor. They chased each other around the table barking with joy. Hermione was giggling so much that she nearly fell off her chair. Ron was wearing the biggest smile ever seen as he watched Hermione laugh. Harry was an onlooker as well as a participant in all of that extreme happiness. He felt as if that moment were so perfect, he wanted to keep it with him forever.

Harry was left to think about how much better his life had become in only a few short weeks. After Sirius's name had been cleared, Harry had moved into a small house with him. Sirius had said that he had a house near London, but would much rather prefer to move into a new place. That brought them to find a nice, comfortable house near Hogsmeade. Harry had never felt so happy in his life. Just the thought that he would never have to see the Dursleys again was enough to make him feel like he was on top of the world. He felt as if nothing could bring him down. It was in that unfortunate moment, that a terrible thought crept into the back of his mind.

What if Voldemort came back to power? What about the prophecy that he had heard Trelawney make? Didn't she say that his servant would help him to rise again? Then it hit him. Pettigrew. It all came flooding back to him in a tidal wave of horror. Pettigrew had escaped. Sirius had _not_ had his name cleared. He and Hermione and helped him to escape before the dementor's kiss was performed. Sirius was in hiding. He was hiding in an unknown place. Harry did not move in with Sirius. He was forced to go back to the Dursley's. Sirius had moved into Grimmauld Place. Sirius was unhappy. Sirius went to the Ministry to help him and Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Neville and Luna. Sirius had fought with Bellatrix Lestrange and... and...

"SIRIUS!" he heard himself cry out. Moments later, the dinning room began to swirl and fade as the cheerful voices stopped talking abruptly.

Harry woke with a start, sweating slightly. His breathing was harsh and fast. He sat up and put his glasses on. He realized that tears were glistening below his eyes. He hurriedly wiped them away and checked to make sure no one was watching him. No. He was in the dormitory and Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville were all sound asleep.

He sat shaking for a while, trying to get a grip on what had just happened. _It was a dream,_ he told himself firmly. Still, he couldn't help but wish he hadn't awoken. After a while, he got up and went over to his bedside cabinet. He took out the photo album that Hagrid had given him. He laid it carefully down on his bed and then sat down beside it. He stared at the cover for a while before turning to a picture of his parent's wedding day. He took a deep, steadying breath and gazed down at the picture. As his saddened eyes swept over the faces of his mum, his dad, and his godfather, he let a few more tears slide out. He knew that he would never see them again. He knew that their time had passed. He knew in his heart that no matter how hard he tried to believe that Sirius could still be alive, he was gone. _If only it hadn't been a dream_...


End file.
